my deepest thoughts
by jkmisao
Summary: a little one shot on sasuke's feelings


Disclaimer: naruto and company are property of kishimoto-sama and tv-tokyo, this little one-shot is nothing more than the product of my crazy imagination no matter how much I wish for this to be true TT-TT

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The sun shines trough my window, I open my eyes, these cursed eyes, just to find myself alone in my room, alone in the house, alone in life. What drives me to keep going? What makes me wake up every morning? What pushes me to try harder? Is it hate? Hate to whom? My brother?

No, is something else.

Loneliness, what an awful sensation. Now that I think about it, how is it possible to overcome such emptiness? How have I been able to live until now? Until some time ago, all I could think about was killing Itachi, but since "he" entered in my life, something else grew inside my head.

What is this feeling? I really have no words to describe it, so ethereal, it feel close but so far away at the same time. I feel like melting, a cloud floating in the sky, and when I'm about to get away, something holds me close to him. Could this be love? Every time I see him, it's like if a thousand butterflies were flying inside of me, but how could this be if I could have every single girl I wanted, and still even though I am perfectly aware that we are both men, there is nowhere I'd rather be than by his side.

His golden hair revolting in the wind, his amazing blue eyes that can see right trough me, his confident smile and his never ending will to do whatever he says, his stubbornness to always be the best, his truly fragile heart, and the sadness of loneliness within his gaze that only I can understand… because we are the same.

The same suffering, the same pain, the same loneliness that dwells in our hearts, we understand each other, we deserve each other, we should belong to each other. The beauty of his soul makes me want to forget all the things that separate us, although I can't. Forget, I wish to forget, to forgive, to leave my past behind, by his side, with his help, to overcome the poison that eats me inside, but at the same time, I don't want to put all my hopes in such a weak illusion.

Only those who know true loneliness can become strong, I want to become stronger, but I don't want to be alone anymore, and I know he doesn't want to be alone either, I try to imagine the day when I'll finally confess him my endless, hopeful, sincere love, but I also know that he longs for someone else.

After all I've been trough, I thought that I could never get hurt again, that I had sealed away my feelings, that my heart was as hard as stone, but when I see him, I can feel warmth all over my body, my heart beats faster, my face turns red, all of my body shakes and then he smiles and just when I'm about to tear my heart open, he asks me about Sakura…

Maybe the only thing that makes me madder than thinking about my brother, Sakura, that stupid little girl that drools over me with absolutely no shame, but what really bothers me is the fact that the object of my affection has a crush on her. I can't understand what he sees in her because she is so annoying, but I've come to understand that love is just some random and really stupid matter of the heart.

If I could, I would tear away these feelings, all those thoughts in my head about a peaceful life by his side where we could just enjoy each others company, share our time without worries of revenge or rejection, and although this is what I want the most, there is nothing I wouldn't do to not feel this way.

And so, here I am, with all this thoughts running trough my head while he is completely unaware of my true feelings, but maybe is better like this because if we got together now, I'm sure one day, our ways will lead us to separated paths, and I would suffer the greatest pain ever, to be away from the one I truly love.

While I'm lying in my bed, I realize the answer has always been right in front of me, I do love you, because my deepest thoughts, my highest hopes and my sweetest dreams, are just for you…


End file.
